Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
