this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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