Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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