So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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