How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think i have herpe
just one?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
