Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
