I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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