Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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