nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
