hotel room ftw
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
that is very illegal...i love you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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