margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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