but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
