Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
