I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
