Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
