You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
