paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
