I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
