You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
