No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
