You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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