Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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