I just pynch a tree in the face
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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