if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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