She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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