ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
