Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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