That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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