I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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