if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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