Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
