yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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