what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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