How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
