All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize