no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
