If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize