Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
