Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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