my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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