Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
