Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
