My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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