Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
