hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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