The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
