this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
