do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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