don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
