ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
