I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize