I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's rum buckets o'clock
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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