Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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