Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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