and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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