i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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