and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
