there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize