i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
