The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
