good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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